Farewell to 2011

Tags

Teaching

I am not one to hold regrets or resentments (ok, maybe the latter a little more than the former). But I’m glad to be putting 2011 behind me and looking forward to a fresh new year.

I lost two people I loved in 2011, my husband’s parents. More significant than my loss is my husband’s (they were his mom and dad after all). And most significant of all, my son lost two grandparents. And not just two run-of-the-mill grandparents, but two of the most amazing grandparents I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing interact with a grandchild. 

On the up side, I had a wonderful year watching my son grow from immediate past blob stage to pre full human stage. And that was a kick!

I also enjoyed a 12th year of marriage with my sweet husband and 1/2 of a second year of work at a great job. I love academia because–much like the new year–there’s a clean slate every 16 weeks or so. Like the new year, there are new semester resolutions. Some of mine for Spring 2012?

1. Structure syllabi so I spread my grading out.
2. Stop grading attendance while still making it “worth it” for students to come to class. Merit system v demerit system.
3. Focus on improving and diversifying teaching tools.
4. Integrate more social media into classes.
5. Be more creative In the classroom.

There are others, but like New Year’s resolutions, it’s easy to kick myself when I don’t do them, so this is enough for now.

2012 promises to be an interesting year. A year in which I will Carpe even more.

Carpe New Year.

I’m Dreaming of a Less-than-Fully-Insane Christmas

Tags

Christmas, family gatherings, holiday, Parenting, Rant, stress and anxiety

Ah, Christmastime!  Visions of sugar plums and happy family gatherings, with the family singing Christmas carols around the fireplace while little Bobby plays the piano.

Yeah, right.  In what black-and-white-television universe?  Christmas tends to be more a time for stress and anxiety, dredging up old family resentments and hurts, practicing plastering the fake smile on your face and having the proper inflection for “Oh, I LOVE it!” when opening gifts.

Now if I sound Grinchy, I don’t mean to.  I’m really just being nostalgic.  My family Christmases were just like that growing up.  Warm spiked cider on the stove, a couple of cases of canned beer in the fridge, and my uncle in the kitchen keeping book on the bets as to who would get drunk and make a jerk of themselves first.  If they made a scene AND stormed out, he payed double.   Or there was the year my mom, cousin, and I tried to pretend Christmas wasn’t happening by renting horror flicks and watching them while gorging ourselves on sweets and popcorn (what we might think of as the “single women” Christmas).

Then I got married to a man who was raised by the Cleavers.  Or perhaps by Jimmie Stewart and Donna Reed.  And Christmases with his family were…different.

We’ve been married 12 years now.  For the first Christmas with his family (our first as a married couple), I steeled myself for the insanity as I did every year with my family.  And did I get more than I expected!  They actually sang Christmas carols together.  And our stockings were stuffed with silly presents his mother bought (or made) with love and care all through the year.  We ate heartily, went to see Christmas lights, went to midnight church service, and thoroughly enjoyed our time with each other.  What?  What kind of Christmas is that?

My in-laws both passed away this year.  I will miss them at Christmas most of all.  And I’ll miss the “stocking fit for a bride” that his mother got for me that first year.  And the bizarre boxes she found to wrap presents in.  And his dad doing something silly, which he could always be counted on to do.

But to tell you the truth, I’ll also kind of miss the anticipation of family drama and craziness.  It’s how I grew up, after all.

I miss my mom, mom- and dad-in-law, and the other family who have passed away recently…and those who can’t be bothered to visit (oops, old resentments slipping out.  Must be Christmas.).  But I’m grateful to be spending Christmas with my husband, our son, and my dad.  And I expect it will be somewhere between “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” and “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  And that’s ok with me.

Merry Christmas.

Carpe Holidays!

The Terrible Twos Have Arrived…Stop Gloating!

Tags

Terrible twos, Toddlers

Something interesting I’ve discovered about parenting.  Other parents love to burst your happy bubble.  Even when we first had our son and he was merely weeks old, people relished saying, “Enjoy him now…just wait until he’s a teenager!”  Really?  You’ve got to put a damper on the novelty of the blob stage (roughly 1 minute – 6 months old) to project me forward 12.5 years into dread?

What is it with parents?  Is it just the “misery loves company” thing?  Or do they truly want us to be prepared?  Because if it’s the latter, I’ve got to tell you–nothing anyone has said to us has prepared us for this.  Yes, the Terrible Twos have arrived.

Our previously angelic Mole Baby has turned into a headstrong, opinionated, independent, ornery little cuss (his father says more often than before that’s he’s “so much like me” – I am beginning to think he doesn’t mean that as a compliment).  Yeah, yeah, yeah – you can tell me how he’s exercising his independence and that’s a good thing but I’m already so weary of time outs and counting “1…2…ok, then” that I’m thinking of running away from home.  Or pinching his little head off like a shrimp. (Figure of speech, DFACS, figure of speech).

He looks angelic, doesn't he? Don't fall for it.

Don’t get me wrong.  He’s still funny and adorable and loving.  Most of the time.  And other times, I’m sure that pod people have taken over his body and mind.  And now that he’s two and we’re admitting it’s tough?  People are practically giggling as they say “OH – you think two is bad?  Wait until three!”  Really?!  Cut. It. Out.  Let us be surprised.

Carpe…oh, I don’t even know what to seize now.  Anyone seen my sanity?

A Quandary About Speaking

Tags

law, Mid-life crisis, Parenting, travel

I just returned from Philadelphia where I did two presentations on “Legal Issues (for Meeting Planners) in Today’s Environment.”  And what I came to realize was (a) I love public speaking, training, and teaching, but (b) not about law.  I speak on the subject because I am, in fact, a lawyer.  But it’s not mainly what I am…any more.  Mainlywhat I am is a professor of meeting and event management.  But no one wants to hear me (or pay me to) talk about that.

Also, all of my flights to/from Philadelphia were delayed due to weather.  To catch the last leg of my journey back home, I actually had to run in Memphis airport from gate B2 to gate A1.  If that doesn’t seem far to you, check out this map - I had to run from the middle of the blue concourse to the very end of the green concourse.  Further factor in that I am a 40-something woman who is somewhat out of shape and that I was running in clogs, schlepping a suitcase, briefcase, and a small bag of holiday presents.  When two airline employees ask you in a concerned way, “Ma’am, are you OK?” you know you’re not looking too good.

And don’t even get me started on leaving my 2-year-old, who is now starting to “get” what it means when Mommy goes on a trip.

On the up side, I got some awesome holiday shopping done in the Philadelphia airport, had a chance sighting of Martin Sheen there, and Delta Air Lines actually held the plane that I ran for in Memphis so I did make it home!  (Yay, Delta Air Lines!).

So the question I’m toying with in my mind (and here) is WHY?  Why do I do this?  The simple answer is either money or ego or both.  The more complicated answer is that I love to teach, facilitate, educate and these are great opportunities to do that with a different audience than I have in my undergrad classes.  Which leads to…do I do more of it?  Do I stop doing it?  Do I only do it on different subjects–subjects that I’m still passionate about?

I wrote this because it helps me to get the questions out in writing and in public.  I know this is something I have to figure out for myself.  But if you have answers, feedback or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

More Things I Wish College Students Knew

Tags

education, employment, university of alabama

In my continuing quest to help students “get” college, here are a few more things that I wish they knew while they were still in college.  For the first part of this list, see my prior blog post, “Things I Wish College Students Knew (While Still in College)”

6. Ask Questions.  Answering questions is what professors are paid to do it.  Some will do it more graciously than others, but ask anyway.  If you aren’t sure what the professor meant, aren’t sure what they are looking for on an assignment, aren’t sure if you are doing the assignment right–ASK.  At worst, the professor says “I covered it in class,” “It’s in the syllabus,” “Or figuring it out is part of the learning process.”  At best, they give you helpful information and you do better in class and are more confident.  I can promise you that if you have a question, so do others in the class.

7. Work.  Your parents may not want you to work so that you have plenty of time to focus on school.  I personally disagree with this point of view.  For many (most?) fields, the combination of a degree and work experience is far more powerful than the degree alone.  Even if you are doing volunteer work or a co-op class that requires hands-on experience in a real work setting, get some experience on that resume.

UA students networking with a guest speaker.

8. Network, network, network!  It is never too early to start meeting people in your chosen field.  Call them up (yes, perfect strangers) and ask if you can buy them a cup of coffee and pick their brain to learn what they do and what the field or position is really like.  What they hear is, “I want to be like you.”  And who isn’t flattered by that?

9. Website and Business Cards. It’s never too early to create a website or business cards.  Really.  It will help distinguish you from the crowd.  A website link on a resume gives an employer something more to look at–and it’s visual, not just words.  So they get to know you better than other candidates when they are deciding who goes in the “yes” pile [versus "no" (we won't interview)].

10. Who Rocks Your World? Not every professor will rock your world.  In fact, you will probably have a good 20% of professors that you don’t like at all.  The rest are…fine.  But if you have 1 or 2 professors that rock your world, change your life, make you think about things differently…well, consider yourself lucky.  You’re at a great school in a great program.  Enjoy the good, suffer through the bad, and tolerate the rest.  And learn what you can from them all.

Hope these help.  Carpe college!